A few months after our son turned one, my husband and I sat down and talked about adding to our family. As things stood, our family of three didn’t quite feel complete, but it didn’t feel like we were supposed to get pregnant again later. And so we landed on fostering with the intent to adopt down the road. Everything was falling into place and we were sure that this is what God was calling us to do. Knowing this, we made the decision for me to come up from my full time job of 11 years right before we got licensed.
In preparation for leaving work, I started up my digital products Etsy shop for the creative and mental outlet that I knew I would need if I was going to be a full time mommy.
Six or seven months after coming home, and two placements later, I was spending every spare moment that I could working on building my shop. This meant I was waking up at 4:30 in the morning, working through naptimes, attempting to squeeze in extra time while half listening for toddler chaos to erupt behind me while the boys were awake, and missing out on family time in the evenings after Alex got home. Instead of hanging out and enjoying playtime and dinner, I immediately handed the boys off to him and went to hide in my office.
I was torn. I didn’t miss my old job. I had enjoyed it for the almost eleven years I was there, but to be fair I had been restless for quite some time before answering the call to come home full time as we prepared to welcome foster babies and toddlers into our life. That said, I couldn’t find fulfillment in being only a full time mommy. It’s just not what God was calling me to do.
I was not balancing things well. Working in every spare moment (and then some) meant that the house was typically in chaos by the time Alex got home, and I was rarely fully present mentally even if I wasn’t at my desk. I was exhausted, our relationship was suffering on all sides, and the whole situation was becoming something that I just couldn’t win at.
I realized then that something had to change, and it boiled down to my priorities and how I fit everything in around them. My family and my home responsibilities had to come before my side hustle work (which I was thoroughly enjoying, even though it wasn’t making much at the time). I also needed to more of a focus on taking care of myself both spiritually and physically so that I could be there properly for my family and work.
As I continued to move forward with pursuing my business and building my family up at home, I discovered that it IS possible, but, in the words of Dean Karnazes, ultra-runner, who was quoting his former boss, “You can have anything you want, you just can’t have EVERYTHING you want.” This mean learning to better prioritize how I was spending my time so that I could be PRESENT for my family, PURSUE financial freedom, and still be able to FILL my own cup.
Now, I’m a planner junkie so my obvious first step was to sit down and write out a schedule. A very detailed schedule that I would need to commit to follow as closely as possible if I wanted to make all this work out. Along with this, I started listening to other solopreneurs (especially women) and soaking up their insights of what made them successful. Between the two, I was able to build a plan that allowed me to be present for my family, fulfill my responsibilities, pursue financial freedom through my business I was excited about, and still have some time left over to fill my own cup.
